lacelacelace

lacelacelace @ 2008-07-02T14:59:00

2008-07-02T21:59:29Z

moved deuxamants

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-30T15:35:00

2008-06-30T22:36:22Z

I don't understand why they keep making books into films because they all suck!

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-28T10:56:00

2008-06-28T17:56:29Z

It's Saturday noooooooooooo. Yesterday I was able to stay home and I finished a bunch of those collages I started on Thursday. Some look unbelievably hideous but some are decent enough. I did it for 6+ hours and I was so hot and weary ughh. Then my family and I went to Hometown Buffet and I don't realize how much I like cheesecake with whipped cream and dripping chocolate syrup until I get there. AHHH OH MY GOD it was good. Then I walked over to Border's before we were finished with dinner. I found The Stranger by Albert Camus but it was $10 hahaha, no. ;_;
but I want this book:

Blah blah then we went to Target and I bought some pens and a new journal which I am so happy about because I don't feel comfortable knowing my livejournal could be leaked out. Haha, way to be paranoid. But I was so meticulous about the first page that I messed up and then I made it worse trying to fix it. :[[[

I really can't stop listening to Coldplay right now even though my speaker system is pretty much not working and killing me. I still have yet to do my Article Review and finish Brave New World and make sure my articles are adeqate. :/

the "Secret Gardens of Paris"
(C) NY Times>

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-26T16:27:00

2008-06-26T23:36:56Z

I talked to a zillion people today + I sorta had lunch with Tracy for less than half an hour.
+ The weekend
+ Second Saturday
+ Home
- speakers not working
- Lucas
- no music
- iPod not working
- Abercrombie & Fitch having more half naked people than clothes.
- Mom being weird
- eating a lot of ice-cream and getting fatttt. not PHAT, fat.
- realizing that newspaper article assignment may be harder than expected
+ mall?
+ shopping
+ job applying

Fashion Inspiration Post #1

2008-06-25T20:21:51Z

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-24T18:13:00

2008-06-25T01:17:09Z

Why'd you forget what you said on Monday?
:[

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-23T19:43:00

2008-06-24T03:27:33Z

So right now my mom just told me to go outside and try some homemade casserole (sp?) and it's actually pretty good because I don't really like my mom's cooking. Haha, sorry mom. I took a picture but like I said my camera and USB cord don't cooperate >:/ But this morning when I rushed to class (as usual) it turned out that nobody was in there and I kept peeking and looking around the little window and then in my mind I was like YUS YES YES! Like Steve Carrel in Get Smart when he "didn't press the button hard enough" hahaha. I love that guy! I think he's so much better than Jim Carrey but some beg to differ. But yes then my mama took me to Target and then she got mad at me cause she said I was gonna make her late to work even though I didn't and she didn't call me and just went looking for me around the store. But whatever. I'm still trying to figuire out what to get M. Her birthday is TOMORROW so this is kind of late but when I stress out about something too much I just forget about it and now that I bring it up again I'm like SHIT!

I was thinking about making her a scrapbook but it's not like I have many pictures of her and they're from so long ago I don't know where most of them are except for the ones I saved like freshman year in a CD. blahhhh. I don't know what to do. She kindly asked that we should do something ("well what are YOU doing originally? nothing") Horray?! I don't know where the hell my phone is so she could've caleld without me knowing and yesterday was like the first time I've hung out with her since forever literally like a few years. It was weird but I wanted to see her so much and I didn't want her to be annoyed or bored with me either.
But I got to her house and she hung up the phone and we left and went to the park near Rachel's house. There were so many kids there! And a baseball game. And we swung on the swings but this mean little girl kept glaring at us and so we got off and went to Tapioca Express and got boba and I said "yes" to the boba even though I didn't want it in my Mango slushie thing or whatever! Because I thought it would be stupid if I didn't put it in there and I ended up not even drinking it. :[ But we didn't know what else to do so we went to go see the movie early and she put our drinks in her bag cause she wanted to take them in even though I'm like ITS GONNA SPILL but she wouldnt listen lol but then my drink got all over her bag, I felt bad :[ but she suggested! And the movie was very hilarious and I kept laughing at the not-funny parts and everyone laughed at the parts that were...supposed to be funny? Haha, so you could only hear me laughing solo but it was fun. :]

I want to see these upcoming movies. ESPECIALLY THE STEP BROTHERS ONE:


And a few icons for company under no cut because I don't care.

Models (mostly Gemma):


Joe/Camp Rock


Anne Hathaway

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-22T16:00:00

2008-06-22T23:21:42Z

My hands are so clammy right now. Sooo gross and it's cause I'm nervous. I really shouldn't be.
No. No. I really shouldn't.

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-22T11:19:00

2008-06-22T18:57:58Z

Yesterday M texted me when I was with my family at Fresh Choice. I was so excited and happy because if anyone else texted me I was gonna go chop their head off EVERYONE IS SO ANNOYING. >:/
Anyway I am very retarded and I was so confused on everything she was saying but I told her I wanted to go see Don't Mess with the Zohan because we wanted to but she saw it with her boyfriend but I didn't really mind so I was like let's go see Get Smart and she agreed! So I figuired out the times etc. but she's like I can't I have work I'm like WTF but blah, it's so hard to figuire out what people mean on a text message. But we might go today but we both sorta have a habit of forgetting/not wanting to later. :[

Here are some random icons I'm deleting off my computeroni that somebody might like but they're not that great because they're mostly trial and error me trying out techniques and learning how to make icons and the whole set I made isn't all here

Samples/Teasers:

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-20T11:15:00

2008-06-20T19:16:17Z

Yesterday I wrote this really long entry and today when I turned on the computer, I realize it wasn't posted. Stupid livejournal stupid computer. :[

Well, anyway, today I woke up at 7:15am in order to get ready to go see my sister's puppet show performance at her school. My stomach was killing me. I don't know. It felt all twisted and everything, but it wasn't like a stomach-ache type of feeling. T'was strange. Well, when I got there, my cheek felt all flushed and I felt...embarresed? I have no idea. I'm just weird. I have pictures but my USB cord isn't working and it's not letting me access my pictures.

Now I'm being pathetic and doing nothing at home. Making no use of myself.
I just ate some Kraft Natural Cheese Low-Moisture Part Skim Mozzarella Cheese String. Seriously how long do you have to make the description. I wanna go out. but I have no one to go out with.This never used to be the problem and the sad thing is I know it's my own fault for just randomly stopping to talk to people I love and I regret it. Some say Live your life with no regrets but right now, I can't. I don't know what to do. If I'm every sad, this is always the reason.

Camp Rock is going to be on today. Awhh I just think the Jonas brothers are soo cute. I can't believe that Demi Lavato kid is 15! either people look WAYY older than they are or way younger. the freshmen at our school (now sophomores) look like they're in 4th grade, in all honesty. It sorta freaks me out.

Oh my god this picture fucking freaks me out really though. Ughhhhklasfjkdjafakll. I was watching an episode of Scariest Places on Earth and they talked about his castle and tortures and they showed this picture like fifty times and it can't stop flashing in my brain!

Oh c'monn

2008-06-17T19:39:17Z

P.S Can someone explain to me how a boy could possibly be this cute?

Lucas called me yesterday at 11:14pm but I didn't know until this morning.
WHYYYY????
I hate boys.
I hate boys that have girlfriends that used to like me or at least I'm pretty sure.

I've been on this damn computer for like four hours. -_-;

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-16T09:40:00

2008-06-16T16:51:39Z

HAHA! I feel so wonderfully rebellious being in here (the library) when I'm supposed to be in class, even though I'm dropping it, so not really. But I'd like to think so! Today in Anthropology, we learned about Natural Selection which was kind of a repeat because I did a 12 pg. paper on it last year so I am pretty familiar with it. We have our first exam on Thursday and we get to use a 3x5 notecard. Seriously, this is so much easier than Humanities, where you have to do a 10 min. presentation on your analysis of a period art piece and also do like fifty reading guides on chapters that are as long as my U.S History ones but worse because they keep repeating the same thing over and over. I'm gonna go sell the book on eBay and hopefully someone will buy it who knows? I feel a little bit relieved because I've been worrying about how I can fit in these two classes with my "more than I'm used to b/c last year I didn't sign up for AP English" summerwork that isn't too hard! Really, but then again, I didn't realize we had to read The Stranger over the summer (at least we don't have to do anything with it). It was on the summerwork paper but I assumed it was what we were gonna do or something, some stupid assumption like that!

I am glad I picked this here computer because it makes little noise when I'm typing but I have to type especially hard because a few keys don't work as I have found out like the letter 'b' and 'm' and sucks when I have to capitalize!
I want to go hang out with A, S, and C at Sunsplash today but I didn't know I was gonna have time. Oh well. Whatever, I only wanna see one of them anyway, well two, there is one in particular I don't care much about, shhh. I can't wait until I get to college and take all the art classes my little heart desires. I wish I could be successful in that field but it's not like everyone else isn't doing this art school thing, it kinda bothers me, does that sound stupid? And a lot of people think people in art school are stupid and oblivious in other subjects because some art schools do not require strict admissions and stuff but passion is a must, you could suck but end up being recognized for your style and grace in the composition of your pieces but hey, who knows?

I don't really know what to write about and I can't believe I have to stay here until 1:45 when my mom can pick me up b/c I'm not going to my next class. Arghhh. I'm just gonna walk over to Target and chilll and fill out an application (always "Hiring Now"), maybe I can get a job starting around 10:30am and up till whatever that'll fill up my humungo time slot. I wanna go work at Jamba Juice but they are never Hiring and I'm not sure if this one allows people (literally, a weee little bit) under 18. AHH everything has to be 18+ but I want a job now. I'm hungry hungry for some extra cash to save upppp.

Bleh, here's basically what I have to do first of all, just because this is the easiest summer work I have. Hm, do other people start off with easy or hard stuff first when they have a list of things to do? For me, it varies with everything blah blah I'm so inconsistent.

blah blah the thing stretched my pg. and plus i don't want an annoying reminder of what i still have to do so nevermind! :]

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-15T22:16:00

2008-06-16T05:24:43Z

I have been thinking about dropping Anthropology just to take on Humanities because I hated having to do all this work on top of my "real" school summerwork but I thought it would be stupid because Humanities is harder, has more work, and etc. but I seemed to like it more. But I talked to my Mum about it and I don't know, I changed my mind. I decided I wanted to just do Anthropology because its wayy easier and I can understand it easily. I didn't realize Humanities was basically the study of all the art pieces produced at that time period relative to the change in human though or whatev. It's interesting because I still wanna be a history major, but kinda boring because I don't really care to memorize the dates and who painted what and every single painting ever in the textbook. Over the weekend, I'm supposed to read the entire play of Hamlet. I don't think I could just whip it out and understand it. I don't know if she wants us to understand it or just read it cause I can read it in about twenty minutes without having any idea what's going on. Pffttt. Also, I still feel really stupid and everything about my depressing thoughts but I told Mom about it, even though its really hard for me to b/c i don't know how to put it for her, or anyone else, to understand. Even though I know I can tell my Mom everything, and she already knows everything, even the embarresing stuff, unfortunately. But I don't care. It's my mother. But still...I can't help thinking about it like everyday and it makes me terribly upset and I can't forget about it because it's in my face everyday. I need to stop dwelling on this but if only it were this easy. I know not alot of people read my LJ or whatever but still, I don't want people to see me as a paranoid freak, but at this moment in time, I really am, and I'm not gonna change my entries or whatever and hide my insecurities because what's the point of this journal anyway. I have a literal paper journal, well it's an old notebook I don't particularly like so I don't write in it. But I think it's better writing in here cause I can post pictures and video and audio and I can look at other people's stuff! haha. But there's really no comparison to writing in a real journal. This is easier but I automatically don't write stuff in here that seems too stupid for the rest of humanity to read. I hope everyone else is like that too. I hope everyone knows everyone is like that too so we all don't feel so alone.

P.S I have made literally like hundreds of icons over the weekend because I'm trying to perfect my technique and learn and everything even though I've tried before (unsucessfully). Well, I think I'm making some progress, if any but haha I'm a bit shy to showcase them off even though they are alright! Most of the icons are Gaspard Ulliele, teehee, and then the next largest batch is Gossip Girl, Supernatural and then finally just random celebrities. Bahaha. It's so much fun making these! I'm lucky to have Photoshop!

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-12T18:14:00

2008-06-13T01:15:17Z

because I stole this! (yishui)

1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Place of residence:
4. What makes you happy:
5. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. Do you read my LJ:
7. If you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. Favorite place to be:
11. Favorite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:

13: Post the most recent picture of yourself: Maybe not.

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song and an album:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your LJ so I can tell you what I think of you

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-12T13:12:00

2008-06-12T20:35:04Z

I didn't realize until yesterday I don't have school tomorrow! Which makes me glad and thankful and happy.

The only things that make me happy right now are:
- waiting for a favourite tv show to come on.
- reading history.
- thinking about getting to finally take art
- doing karate again (which I'm contemplating because I don't wanna be a whitebelt again -_-)
- trying to be optimistic in thinking I have a great future lying ahead and that all my hard work will pay off.
- potentially getting a job
- get an A in all my classes
- making good friends.
- movies!!!!

and I do find it very sad I don't have a person to make me happy. And it still fucking makes me mad that I've become this anti-social hermit. I miss people, I miss talking, I miss going out, I miss sharing ideas and material things. People just don't seem to be attracted to me anymore, not physically. I don't know how to start up a conversation. I don't know how to act in the presence of others. I miss hanging out with BFF but last time I did I didn't even know what to do I just practically sat there did nothing and nodded my head sometimes. WHAT AM I AFRAID OF?

I know this sounds stupid to people who aren't in my shoes because if I weren't me I would think so too. And that's why whenever someone cries to me or tells me something that I wouldn't react to in the same way because I don't care or feel strongly, I don't think they're a crybaby or weak or anything, just that different things affect different people and I wish everyone would just appreciate being confided in rather than the situation itself that may be irrelevant to you personally.

Thank God for my ability to study history. Even though I'm not the most interested in Art History, which I am learning in Humanities. It reminds me that anyone can be capable of great things, anyone can dream, anyone can change the world, if they choose to.

If only I can even describe how much the Renaissance inspires me. How it makes me want to spend years and years on a work that sums me up and wondering what people will infer and think about me years from now. Centuries and ages and how different the world will be.

Includes works by Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Raphael, and Tizian. some of my favorites of course.

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-11T13:14:00

2008-06-11T20:32:50Z

Today is my third day at summer school and yesterday I've been in such a sad, reserved mood that at any given second I can burst out in tears. But I've been like that for a while. Like the past two years, sometimes worse than others naturally.

I feel like I can't be with people anymore, like I've lost faith in them. Not humanity, but people, persons.
I realize this is probably very unfair but I can't change my mind. and as much as I try I can't.
Why would I let a stupid measly girl get in my way of happiness.
I used to be a relatively happy person and even when things were bad I was over it soon.
Now I've lost all the self-confidence previously tightly in my posession two years ago.
It makes me so mad. SOO MAD. I can't believe I've let this affect me for so fucking long. how pathetic.
I miss my best friend so much. Except, it's my fault we're not really bestfriends anymore.
I don't know why but I got really annoyed with her and then I ignored her but I guess we stopped talking and I know I'll never meet another like her. She's very protective like me. We both only like having like one or two close friends but SUPER close. And I know that if I "had" her, I wouldn't worry about all this other crap. Cuz in the end I know we're best friends. And it's taken me two years to realize how much I miss her and how stupid I've been. She says she forgives me or whatever and we should start hanging out again but I'm afraid, I've changed so much as a person and it's not like we are not-lazy about calling up the other or something.

We used to talk for 6 hours and she used to call me ritually and I never got annoyed or tired of her. Even when we were silent I didn't feel awkward. I never appreciated it. Now I wish someone would do that. But now if that ever happened, I would question sincerity and honesty and stuff like that, being paranoid, really. I can't tell her this because I know she'll feel bad and I'll never know true intentions. I know she like(d) me as a person really and geniunely before but would she see my bad self with yesterday's mask on? She may only like me for that reason only but I'm not that person anymore. I wish I was that loving, curious, in your face, friendly person I used to be.

I never should dwell on the past but I'm just too vulnerable and weak to move on it seems.

I forgot to add I wont be able to go home stare at ceiling and think anymore cause I have to read a long chapter about the late Renaissance and then about Biological stuff and reading questions and whatnot. But I like the Renaissance stuff Idk what I'm complaining about really. but I just wanna lay down and do nothing.

Analytical Thinkers are reserved, quiet persons. They like to get to the bottom of things -curiosity is one of their strongest motives. They want to know what holds the world together deep down inside. They do not really need much more to be happy because they are modest persons. Many mathematicians, philosophers and scientists belong to this type.

Analytical Thinkers loath contradictions and illogicalness; with their sharp intellect, they quickly and comprehensively grasp patterns, principles and structures. They are particularly interested in the fundamental nature of things and theoretical findings; for them, it is not necessarily a question of translating these into practical acts or in sharing their considerations with others. Analytical Thinkers like to work alone; their ability to concentrate is more marked than that of all other personality types. They are open for and interested in new information.
Analytical Thinkers have little interest in everyday concerns - they are always a little like an “absent-minded professor” whose home and workplace are chaotic and who only concerns himself with banalities such as bodily needs when it becomes absolutely unavoidable. The acknowledgement of their work by others does not play a great role for them; in general,they are quite independent of social relationships and very self-reliant.
Analytical Thinkers therefore often give others the impression that they are arrogant or snobby - especially because they do not hesitate to speak their mind with their often harsh (even if justified) criticism and their imperturbable self-confidence. Incompetent contemporaries do not have it easy with them. But whoever succeeds in winning their respect and interest has a witty and very intelligent person to talk to. A partner who amazes one with his excellent powers of observation and his very dry humour.
It takes some time before Analytical Thinkers make friends, but then they are mostly friends for life. They only need very few people around them. Their most important ability is to be a match for them and thus give them inspiration. Constant social obligations quickly get on their nerves; they need a lot of time alone and often withdraw from others. Their partner must respect this and understand that this is not due to the lack of affection. Once they have decided in favour of a person, Analytical Thinkers are loyal and reliable partners. However, one cannot expect romance and effusive expressions of feelings from them and they will definitely forget their wedding anniversary. But they are always up to a night spent with stimulating discussions and a good glass of wine!

Adjectives which describe your type
introverted, theoretical, logical, spontaneous, rational, analytical, intellectual, sceptical, pensive, critical, quiet, precise, independent, creative, inventive, abstract, eccentric, curious, reserved, self-involved, imaginative, unsociable, determined, modest, careful, incommunicative, witty

These subjects could interest you
literature, science fiction, philosophy, psychology, mathematics, Internet, drawing/painting, astrology, spiritual things, meditation, music, writing, strategy games, politics.

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-08T14:44:00

2008-06-08T21:50:49Z

Why didn't I pre-order Phantom of the Opera tickets playing in my city theatre? Ughhh. Which reminds me, I think Gerald Butler is sooo handsome and I loved him in P.S. I love you and his singing, and his pretty eyes and I'm goiing to stop here. Anyway, I just got outta school on Friday and tomorrow I'm gonna have to start school again because I am taking community college classes to help my poor GPA out. I also have a freakishly huge amount of summerwork compared to last year and I feel very good because being busy makes me feel un-useless which is great haha. I'm taking Humanities 10-ish and Physical Anthropology at 8:30...IN THE MORNING. :[ Oh well, hopefully it'll pay off in the end. I'm still praying for a job callback and I can't apply at Red Robin's cause it's 18 and over so I have to wait a little bit but then summer is over!!!! :/

Today I watched the MADE episode where this tomboy girl wants to be a model and she asked her crush, Aaron out, it was kind of annoying because like a few days later, he says, I'm really busy and my gf's gonna get mad. Ugh, I've seen that too many times at school. But it makes me want to be courageous and ask a boy out. But I don't exacty like anyone right now or find anyone attractive, well yes, but he's cocky so not attractive...inside. Yeah. And most boys don't seem to be into the things I'm into, care about the things I care about and I don't know, I'm not asking for perfection but it seems like it. I want someone I'll at least not get bored of and isn't a creep that texts "Hi" to me like every hour. Which a certain someone always does and that I took as a hubba hubba but turns out he has a gf and he's just a whore. aha.

Wish I could find one from the original cast too but I couldn't.

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-08T00:07:00

2008-06-08T07:08:33Z

today we were supposed to go to the strawberry festival but stayed there for like an hour because there was nothing there and no strawberry anything. then we bought a load of stuff to eat by the river. this month's glamour magazine sucks.

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-05T16:35:00

2008-06-05T23:36:27Z

"Beautiful is the ultimate compliment"

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-05T16:12:00

2008-06-05T23:12:58Z

Finally the last day of stupid school.

lacelacelace @ 2008-06-01T11:09:00

2008-06-01T18:18:33Z

I did absolutely nothing yesterday except wake up and go to the Eco-center and then I went to Bows and Arrows but then I got really bad cramps so I left and THEN finally went to Crossroads, which reminds me of Jen soo much because she was the one that asked me if I shop there and I was like...WTF and then I remember there being such a place and the newspaper helped too. But I bought a pair of the teal/red converse for $14-ish and a top from Forever 21 for $8.50 and then an Xhiliration shirt for $3! Hayyy bargainzz.

I really don't wanna study for physicsssss.
and I hate my nose. :[

Ahahaha I love playing those nancy drew games on PC right now I'm re-playing Haunted Carousel teehee. but I can't get pass the part where you have to fix the circuit thing and the people look fucking creepy.

lacelacelace @ 2008-05-31T12:55:00

2008-05-31T19:57:30Z

I'm going shopping w/ my mum and da.
My friends and I are supposed to go see Indy but nobody's called.
And dad's being nice and saying he'll take me to Arden and I feel kinda bad but whatev.
I want a Nintendo DS now.
I want to get a job noww. I submitted an app. to Raleys & Bel-Air and I think Old Navy but nobody's called me or anything :[[ I need $$$$$

lacelacelace @ 2008-05-25T23:34:00

2008-05-26T06:45:36Z

Me and Mom are gonna go watch this nowwww. I hope, if she's not asleep already.
But seriously, who is a better living actor than Johnny Depp? Who? Who? Noooo-oneeee.
I sound stupid, but whatever.
He neverr fails in producing characters I'll remember forever.

lacelacelace @ 2008-05-25T22:26:00

2008-05-26T05:40:38Z

FUCK I wrote a fucking long entry and LJ deleted it!

I guess I'll write some of it again. It was about how Sandra and I aren't really that good of friends anymore because I've been ignoring her because she has been a bitch and annoying as hell. I hate clingy people. And I was saying how I always use this as an excuse to why I am sad and angry on a given day. And I don't even know if it's true.

And also that Cynthia called me yesterday while she was at Wal-Mart (again? seriously she is nowhere else) but she saw a best friend necklace and she said she would buy it for the both of us. I told her I would keep it forever and ever! It was very considerate and sweet. And even though she was a bitch to me once, i did forgive her, and I think it showed that we cared about eachother enough to do so and how I can't forgive Sandra and the way she makes me feel inferior and stupid and I just don't like jumpy, high on energy, thinks-youre-boring-if-youre-not-talking-every-second, and finds stupid things to be mad about you so she can blame you for everything. At least I rebuilt my friendship with Cynthia.

Another thing is that. I am very upset at how I feel so lonely, nowadays. I used to be "popular" and friendly and people enjoyed talking to me and inviting me to places. But last year (the worst year ever, oh no, wait, this year is definently), but the worst year that I've had so far was last, okay that's settled. i didn't talk to anyone, I shut everyone out. I looked pretty drained and annoyed the whole time and everytime someone wanted to invite me and/or talk to me I would just nod and stuff. I stopped talking to practically everyone and lost one of my bestest friends I've ever had. It makes me sad all the time when I think about this. When I see all these girls I know going out and having fun. And talking to their friends and texting people and kissing their boyfriends. I could've had that. I think that's it. But I don't. and it makes me just wanna sleep forever in my room and dream about Twilight and finding my own Edward and having nothing else matter.

I can't get back to where I was before, even when I am trying, and I have! Many times.
I don't know how to start up conversations anymore. I don't want to invade conversations. i don't wanna be rude or annoying so I don't say anything. And my new friends, "the four" have been wonderful the past year but one in particular, Sophie has been strange and distant. This girl made me feel like I was a good friend again, she told me things she planned future trips with me and everything. I know I didn't do anything on purpose. What could it be? I'm so used to having people get mad at me for no reason so I can't tell. :[ I miss herr.

I should stop being so dramatic, but I can't help it!

I am doing my play reviews right now but it's sooo boring. I've been on the computer the whole entire day since Mom left. I have been searching up stuff about the Twilight movie, gone on the Flickr, myspace-d, listened to music, you-tubed, everything, but I don't wanna leave because it'll make me think about the things I don't like even more. I've told mom, MOM i am soo not in a good mood and sad and she's like "you always feel like that" and it's soo true she is so annoyed.

Mom said she would take me shopping at Target if I finished my play reviews before 5 or 6 but I didn't and she said she had to go anyway to pick up meds and she said she'll take me tomorrow if I'm "good". She makes me feel guilty when I am on here ugh. But whatever.

I am trying to remember I am on a three day weekend! Well, one more day now. But think about going to Border's and reading about Elizabeth I, watching movies, watching re-runs of Gossip Girl, reading Great Expectations, maybe finding some cute things at Target? Ohh please. I just feel dreadful right now and Mom said we should watch Sweeny todd tonight but it's kinda late already and I'm not in the mood or motivated.

lacelacelace @ 2008-05-18T21:48:00

2008-05-19T04:48:51Z

I am glad they finally came out, geeeezzz. Sorry I'm kinda late on this: